Thursday, January 8, 2009

Still, I rise.

So, 2009 has started with a bang.

My last training session with Seb was on December 16 -- and over the course of the holiday break, I worked out a bit while I was in BC and also took some much needed rest. Once I got back to Toronto, I still had about a week and a bit before I had to go back to work, so I spent my days focusing on reinforcing good habits: getting quality sleep, eating 'clean', exercising well, relaxing, and looking after myself. I had some amazing workouts, reintroduced myself to my nemesis (the kettle bells), and I have to say that the combination of rest and renewed focus paid off.

Last night, I had my first training session for 2009, and at my check-in, I weighed in 8 pounds lighter than I did before I left for the holidays. Now, most people I know fret about having gained weight over Christmas... too much turkey, stuffing, beer, wine, chocolate... whatever the indulgence may be. And I'm all for indulgences. But this year, I managed to do very well with indulging in moderation and truly savouring those moments when I bit into a gooey buttertart, or let the ice cold fizz of a Coke rest on my tongue (yes, it's the simple things that make me happy).

All that said, I still managed to shave 8 more pounds off, and I feel like this start to 2009 has been amazing. I had more energy in my workout last night than I ever recall having, I'm feeling less and less self-conscious about my being in the gym, and most importantly, I'm feeling more and more comfortable in my own skin. I can't remember starting off a new year with this level of energy and resilience -- and I see all the media reports on now telling people about how to get back in shape and how to make their resolutions count, once and for all. Everything that people are saying will work.... but both mind and heart have to come together -- that's where true motivation and resilience comes from. It also really helps to have an amazing trainer in your corner, who, in spite of his healthy skepticism about my goals for the year ahead, is still willing to stand by my side, offer me his full support, and do whatever he can to help me make this happen. I've not had someone in my life for a long time be this explicitly dedicated to my success, and I have to say it's pretty cool. Even though I joke with Seb that he can't count, and I question most things he tells me, he knows what he's talking about. And after 6 months and 65 pounds, I better trust him. In fact, he started his own fitness blog (I like to think I had something to do with that LOL!), so if you want to check out regular fitness tips and a truly honest take on what it takes to be successful, take a read at: (see link to the right). And while you're there, enjoy the bare-chested picture on his profile... yes, that's what I have to contend with each and every week.... LOL! Oh, the pain!!!!

In all seriousness, I still can't believe that I've made it this far. I've never done this well before, and last night, after a long soak in epsom salts with lavender (yep, a big ol' girly moment), I came to truly believe that I can and will succeed. I know I've said it before in this blog... but I think I was still trying to convince myself then. Now, I know it. I used to go to bed at night with fear, with pain, with sadness about my belief that I would never overcome this struggle. But with the turn of the new year, I no longer fall asleep with this fear. Instead, I fall gently to sleep, sound in my belief and in my faith that I can conquer my demons... That I will win this battle... That I will finally win. This time, I know it for certain -- I will succeed. As Maya Angelou said, "still, I rise." Take a few moments and listen to her recite her poem entitled with those same words. I dare you to not be inspired.

Kia Kaha.
Stay Strong.


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