Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Be Divine

So, it's New Year's Eve, and I've come to realize something important. This is the first year, for as long as I can remember, when I'm NOT going to head to bed tonight trying to convince myself that, starting tomorrow, I'm going to get healthy. I'm not making any resolutions that I can't achieve. I'm not going to put all my hope in the closing of the year to bring me the change I know I am capable of.

I had coffee with Seb the other day to catch up and plan a bit for the months ahead. They're going to be busy, that's for sure. I'll be back to work (after a month off), starting two more classes in my PhD program, and I've also signed on to be part of a research team for two months. Oh yeah, plus I'm still looking after my dog, trying to keep my life organized, and spending at least an hour a day at the gym. Phew! I'm tired just thinking about it all. But I'm confident that I'll be able to make it happen. With that in mind, we set some new goals for the weeks, months and year ahead:
  • lose 15-20 pounds every three months. I had to convince Seb of this one...I've been on par with 15 pounds every three months, and I'd like to crank it up a bit. I'm certain that there's more I can be doing to get the results I want. Deep down, there's part of me that thinks that Seb agreed to this goal to help me realize that 20 pounds per month is quite aggressive, and that if I don't achieve that goal, then he'll have taught me a valuable lesson about being realistic in my expectations. However, I'm going to give it a try, just to see what I can do when I really put my mind to it. I say that because I'm convinced that I can do better to focus on my goals and make sure that they happen. That said, my next goal is to:
  • be more consistent. Over the past six months, when I've had weeks where I haven't seen any change, I know that there are things that I could have done differently -- things that I could have done to ensure greater success. I'm striving for consistency because I want to make the same mistakes fewer times. Yes, I would like to see more consistent results, and Seb of course reminds me that this whole thing is about realizing that weight loss runs in highs and lows. I get that. I'm willing to accept the highs and lows only at those times when I know that I've done everything I can to try to succeed. But I don't think I've necessarily done that in the past. Am I striving for my typical Type-A personality perfection? Sure. But I also have to navigate my way through this journey on my own terms, testing my own beliefs, making my own mistakes, and finding my own new directions. Sebastien is there to play the devil's advocate, but I know that in order to make this healthy lifestyle truly a lifestyle, I have to figure out a lot of it on my own.
  • strive to achieve balance. I work full time. I go to school full time. I do research. I spend upwards of 10 hours per week at the gym. I function at full throttle... I need to figure out how to function further away from the edge of the tipping point, or figure out what to do if and when things do tip over...
So there you have it. Not necessarily a resolution, but a new set of goals to carry me through the weeks and months ahead. I'm looking forward to the next steps in the journey, and to sharing more of my experience with whomever is reading this stream of consciousness that is my blog. And for those out there making new years' resolutions, make sure you decide something that's going to work for you... and most importantly, from a text message my sister in New Zealand sent me this morning as they rang in the new year:

Happy New Year.
Bring on a successful 2009.
Love harder.
Be true to yourself and your passion.
Honour those not here through your actions.
Be divine in 2009.

Kia Kaha.
Stay Strong.