Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Egg-zaw-sted.

So, I haven't blogged for two weeks.... work life and school life have been extremely busy. A while ago, I used to talk about how bored I was at work, and how some days, I used to just sit in the office and stare at the wall. Well, be careful what you wish for..... work has been extremely busy -- dealing with a lot of different issues, some complex student mental health stuff that takes up a lot of time, and also trying to launch a few new programs and partnerships. It's all very exciting and invigorating stuff, but it takes heaps of time... both in terms of real hours and mental/emotional time in the off-hours.

School has been picking up steam. Even though a while back I was feeling like I was losing confidence with my 'academic' self... I am really invigorated by the content (have a bit of a crush on my professor, to be honest) and am feeling like I'm working at a level of academic rigor that one would expect from a PhD-level program. At the end of my Tuesday night class, I have to admit... I feel completely brain dead. The class is intellectually challenging and mentally exhausting, but it's all good at the same time.

In fact, last night, I was completely wiped after class. But I also had a heap of work to do after I got home, and realized that I hadn't yet made it to the gym. Sebastien has given me the new kettle bell workout, which is incredibly challenging (sometimes a bit too much so), and the 'newness' is reinvigorating, both in terms of my spirit and my body. You need to shock your body out of older routines and into new ways of doing things -- it keeps it fresh and forces your body to respond, luckily in a way that results in good changes. Even though I had a pile of work to do, I still managed to get to the gym last night and cranked out close to 800 calories on the elliptical machine. It was a good night.

The kettle bell workout, as I said, is challenging. I think we started off a bit heavy on it, and I was worried on Saturday that I was overdoing it. So, I slowed down, got Sebastien's thoughts, and we've agreed to lower the weight and reps, but still keep the format. That's a relief. We talked tonight about how Sebastien feels confident in my ability to push myself in terms of my capacity for cardiovascular work (which the kettle bells does incredibly), but I reminded him that his confidence is only one part of he puzzle. I have to have that same trust and confidence... but we're getting there. It's a new way of doing things, so I need a little bit of time to work through the pains and kinks, and eventually feel better about how we're doing things.

Tonight we dove back into kettle bell hell (adjusted weights and reps) and threw in some pushups for good measure. At one point, I offered to lift heavier weight instead of doing the pushups... but Seb didn't buy it. He asked why I didn't like the pushups... well, it's true that they're challenging, but I don't like the fact that the floor is dirty.... yes, dirt and germs are one of my little OCD-issues. So, he laughed and told me to hit the floor. I'm glad he's so forgiving... HA!

So after kettle bell hell, we (read: me) hopped back on the treadmill for some interval jogging, and it was at that point that I realized I had no more energy left in me. Because of my crazy work schedule (a few late nights, VERY full days, and some very early mornings), I think I'm functioning at full-tilt. Throw in my regular workouts, and I'm probably overdoing it altogether. And I felt it tonight. As I was on the treadmill, I felt so exhausted... so tired. And began to feel like I did four months ago when I first started working out. So, we stopped there, and dove into the core-work. 300 crunches a day.... normally manageable. But tonight, at about number 75, Seb noticed that I didn't have much fuel left in the tank. I did another 75 and then we called it a night... after some amazing hamstring stretches, of course... ;)

I realize as I'm sitting here that as much as I have this renewed focus on health and wellness, and that we've achieved the goal of making physical activity a part of my daily life, that I still need to pay close attention to balance. Yes, I've been working and studying at full tilt. Yes, i've been working out, full steam ahead. But it dawned on me a few moments ago, that part of why I was so egg-zaw-sted tonight was that I'm pretty sure I was completely dehydrated when I got to the gym. I didn't drink as much water as I should have today.... and I really did feel it. Let's just say, lesson learned.

So, I continue to find tremendous strength and fun in working out. It has become a spiritual experience of sorts... that last night as I was hammering out the 800-odd calories on the elliptical trainer, that I began to tear up at the sheer sense of accomplishment. Four months ago, I could barely do a 10-minute stint on the treadmill. Now, I can go for an hour on the elliptical (my former nemesis) on top of a full strength routine and followed by 300 ball crunches. It's pretty freakin' cool, if you ask me. Here are some other cool things....

  • I drilled another hole in my belt this morning... I'm my father's son, why buy a new belt when you have a perfectly good Makita that can do the trick for you, right?
  • When I put on my pants this morning, before tightening my belt, I sucked in my belly, and the pants fell to the floor. All good...I just have to make sure that doesn't happen in public.
  • My light-weight winter coat, which I couldn't do up last year, has now been resurrected, and there's a comfortable amount of room in it, buttons closed, and all.
  • My black blazer, which last September was tight when I did up the button, now has to be altered. It's too big.
  • My watch, which used to tighten only to 2 notches, is now on notch #5.
  • And, most significantly.... I've embraced 'the numbers'. I weigh in with Seb every week, and we do a more comprehensive assessment once a month. Tonight at my weigh-in, the first two digits on the scale (and I'm not telling you what they are, 'cause it's not polite to ask a lady such personal questions..... ha!) are numbers that I haven't seen since the turn of the new millennium. Literally.
Seb told me to make sure I celebrate these moments... so, I'm sitting here with a bowl full of strawberries and a big ol' mug of green tea. I know it's not particularly indulgent, but it feels good, and treating myself like gold is a great way to celebrate.

So there you have it... It's all good. I'm feeling great, and learning lots along the way. Thanks to all of you for your support. Knowing that some of you are religious readers of this blog means the world to me.

Kia kaha.


PS. I'm pooping regularly again. Thanks for asking... oh you didn't ask??? you know you wanted to... !