Sunday, September 14, 2008

Something's got to give... or can I have it all?

I'm beginning to feel a bit overwhelmed these days. I've just been through a very nutty first week at work, started two classes as part of my PhD program, and continue to try to work out every day. Emphasis is on 'try' there, 'cause I've had a hard time convincing myself to get up and get moving. I suppose it's completely natural to be in a bit of a funk or a lull, but I'm starting to question whether or not I can handle it all. I've got a lot on the go, and I'm wondering if I've taken on too much. But I better make up my mind soon, 'cause if something's got to give, it's going to have to happen in the next little while.

I guess where I'm feeling the most overwhelmed right now is with my school work. I've undertaken a pretty ambitious course load this year -- no different than last year in terms of number of classes, but it feels like the rigor of what I'm doing now it a bit more intense. Also, last year, I hadn't made a new commitment to my health, and I had also conveniently hired a day care to look after my dog. That made life easy. But things are different now. Rosie needs to be walked every day, and I'm managing to do that. Just as my health is a priority, so is hers. I need to have my hour in the gym every day -- that's my time to sweat, think, and feel good. But I also have a job. And school work. And laundry. And a dishwasher that I keep breaking. And the list goes on....

So what's got to give? Or do I have to sacrifice anything at all???

I'm thinking that if I dive into the next four months at this pace, that I'm going to get completely overwhelmed, and I'm going to have to let something drop. Well, not looking after the dog isn't an option. Once I've hit October, dropping a class isn't an option. Quitting work isn't an option. I fear that when I really get into the thick of it all, that it's going to be really really easy for me to stop working out. When all is said and done, giving up the one thing that is perhaps of the greatest importance to me right now is going to be the easiest thing to give up. And that kind of freaks me out a bit.

So what would the consequences be...

If I drop a class now, I feel like I'll be able to breathe a bit more easily. I know which one I'd let go, and I can pick it up again in January. And yes, I've got two classes scheduled for January again, and I might find myself in the same predicament. However, I feel like doing only one class now, on top of everything else I have committed myself to, is a reasonable and manageable addition to my 'to do' list. And doing one class now might actually make it easier to take two in January. I suppose that makes sense... doesn't it???

Aside from over-thinking things as I always do, I've had a bit of a slow week in terms of working out. The intensity of my work has been increasing, accompanied by increased aches and pains. And it's time for a bit of a body break (and not the type with Hal Johnson and Joanne McLeod on CBC... remember them???). So, I took it easy on Friday -- i mean, REALLY easy... picture an exciting evening of me, the couch, the dog and week's worth of TiVo. Yesterday was miserable in terms of weather, and it didn't make it easy to get up and do much, although I ended up at work for a few hours to take care of something I had committed to a while back. And today, well, I was at the gym at 8:45 this morning and just got home. So, once again, I have shown myself that even when I'm feeling the funkiest and most lethargic, getting to the gym is actually a good thing.

The other thing I'm doing this week to give my body a bit of a break is I'm finally going for a massage. I've put my body through a bit of the ringer in the past few weeks, and as I said, I'm starting to get achy again. So, on Thursday, September 18 (my birthday, ahem, ahem), I'll happily be laid out on a table with a massage therapist working out all the knots and kinks. Can't wait.

And on the note of September 18.... one of my goals this past year was to be well on my way towards better health by the time I'm 35. This week marks that important day, and I feel like I'm definitely headed in the right direction. Check mark, gold star, snaps all around.

Kia kaha.